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Smack My Bitch

Smack My Bitch

89
Content quality: 24.0 of 25
Content quantity: 21.0 of 25
Design and usability: 7.0 of 10
Originality: 18.0 of 20
Reviewer's rating: 19.0 of 20

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Content updates: Bi-weekly | Review last updated:


Site Details:

Smack My Bitch
Introduction:

There are different kinds of teen porn online, which is awesome. You can basically have whatever kind of naughty sex you want. To me there are the sites that are going after the pornstar aesthetic and then the sites that are trying to do the innocent teenage girl thing. The pornstar sites are all about these naughty teen whores sucking cock and gagging, drooling on balls and getting fucked hard in crazy positions while they moan about how good it is to get fucked in their teen pussies. The other kind is about taking these girls that are young, beautiful and precious and taking away their innocence by fucking them hard. Obviously they weren’t really innocent if they were looking to get fucked in a porn video but that’s all part of the illusion. All these types of porn scenes are a lot of fun and Smack My Bitch specializes in the latter type, despite the title.

Main idea:

Smack My Bitch is a deceptive name for this teen porn site. Given the use of the word smack it’s pretty hard not to think about a girl getting hit in some manner. Maybe it’s a rough sex site with face slapping. Maybe it’s a spanking site with fucking mixed in. In reality they feature cute, innocent looking teenage girls and they fuck them. Sometimes there’s anal sex but there’s no smacking of any kind outside of the occasional brush against the ass. This is not an abuse site of any flavor so it’s just bizarre that they would suggest it with the name. Anyway, there are free videos on the tour that you can check out for a sample of what’s inside.

Member's area:

The latest lovely teenage girl is always waiting for you upon login. You’ll see her pretty face smiling at you and with just a click you can start her scene in the embedded Flash player. There’s a description too and it’s generally good at whetting your appetite for teen sex. That main page also features the most recently added sets, teases from future updates and the most popular episodes and models. That’s always my favorite place to start on a site because that’s generally where the good stuff rests.

You can browse the content by episode or by model. They episodes are listed by the date they were added and I’m impressed that they update 2-4 times a week here. It’s no small feat to add a new high definition episode on a weekly basis and that’s exactly what they’re pulling off here. You have to give them kudos for that, especially since these are high quality scenes starring sweet, innocent young chicks. Each set comes with a picture gallery, a video for download or streaming and a set of screenshots.

The pictures are insanely high resolution. 3500px is a huge number and is way too big for me. If you want to use the slideshow you can adjust the size of the images but I didn’t see a way to do it when browsing normally. Downloading the zip file seems to be the only way to do that. The screenshots are high quality because they’re taken from a high definition video, as promised. The movies are the best reason to visit and enjoy Smack My Bitch. They play at 1280x720 and they look crystal clear. Download speeds are a little slow: I was hovering around 400-500kbps, which is roughly one quarter of my connection’s capability. The files are usually pretty big so it would have been nice if they could have made them easier to bring down.

Content:

Despite the horrible name Smack My Bitch is a good teen porn site. It’s a very specific type of teen porn site. For the most part these are going to be girls you’ve never seen before. They’re speaking another language in the scenes and I’m pretty sure it’s Russian. At the very least these girls are Eastern European so they’re probably not pornstars you’ve ever seen before or will ever see again. That gives them an air of innocence and it goes a long way towards making the scenes more exciting. In most cases they’re going for the super young look and when these girls get fucked it’s even more arousing.

Some of the girls seem really awkward on camera. They smile too much and too wide. They’re a little uncomfortable when their clothes first start coming off. They awkwardly play with the guy’s cock. You can view these as bad things or they can merely reinforce the notion that these girls are innocent sweethearts without much experience in the sexual realm. I choose to go the latter route and it makes the content even more effective. Most scenes are guy-girl twosomes that start with something to loosen the girl up like dildo play, pussy eating and fingering or some gentle touching. Then she gives a teen blowjob and then she gets fucked.

They do anal sex on occasion and it looks really awesome. The girls are fucked hard in the ass even though they look so tiny and it seems like getting boned in the butt would hurt like hell. They take it with ease and they fucking love it. These girls are young, innocent and beautiful and they’re having hardcore sex. They seem like they’re all 18 and 19 years old and some look younger despite being totally legal. They are sweet and cute and a little awkward at first and then they turn into total cock sluts gobbling meat at a prodigious rate. It’s pretty fucking great. There are no bonus sites but they have 256 scenes so that should be more than enough to warrant a membership.

Cons and pros:

Pros:

  • A big collection of teen sex scenes;
  • Girls are young, innocent and totally sweet but slutty;
  • Several updates a week.

Cons:

  • Pictures are actually too big in some cases;
  • Downloads are a little slow;
  • Older scenes don’t look nearly as good.
Conclusion:

Smack My Bitch has a deceptive name that makes you think it’s some kind of spanking or rough sex site. It’s really just a good teen sex site with an emphasis on the teen part. The girls are young and beautiful and they’re made to look younger with certain makeup, hair styles, clothing choices and settings. These young, innocent and sweet things are then given hard cock to devour and they go wild with it. The videos are downloadable in WMV format and they are high definition as promised. You get to download as much as you’d like and they have an incredible update schedule, adding something fresh every 2-3 days. It’s a terrific site in many ways. The only thing I’d change is to make the downloads a little faster.

Featured comments:

I get that some people really like high resolution pictures. I’m not a big fan though. I don’t get the appeal of only being able to see a tiny part of the picture and then having to scroll. It’s not very arousing. That’s why it doesn’t make sense that they wouldn’t offer multiple resolutions for these galleries. Having to download a zip file just to browse the pictures sucks, especially when that zip file is huge because all the pictures are so high resolution.

A 500mb file takes a long time to download when you can’t get better than 450kb/sec. That was the problem I ran into at Smack My Bitch. I always liked what I downloaded but it would have been nice of them to offer the scenes in smaller parts. At least I can watch the Flash file while I wait for the movie to download.

I’m really curious as to what they were thinking when they named this site. Smack My Bitch is about the worst name I can think of for a teen sex site that involves no smacking. There isn’t spanking here. There isn’t face slapping. Is smacking some kind of slang word for fucking that I don’t know about? It’s just baffling!



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Last Update: 12 Aug, 2014

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